Jackalope of the Self
Roshi Sunya Kjolhede
When we cling to the familiar, to this notion of self that we have welded out of thoughts and memories since time immemorial, then we’re identifying with the wrong master. Zen Master Bassui’s essential question was, “Who is the Master?” Who is the one who hears, feels, sees, and talks? Our task in sesshin and in our lives is to put this true master, this “True self that is no-self,” back on the throne. Otherwise all kinds of tricksters and demons break in and take its place.
This brings to mind an image from The Wind in the Willows, the part where Toad is absent from his big beautiful mansion. He’s been arrested and thrown into prison, and all these crafty, greedy weasels pour into Toad Hall and take over. They put on his fancy smoking jacket, they smoke his fancy pipes, they drink his expensive wine, and they trash the place. Ultimately, of course, they have to be driven out for Toad to be reinstated. Of course, we wouldn’t characterize this True Master as having Toad’s personality! – ornary personality or characteristics at all. This is utterly beyond birth and death, good and bad, self and other – beyond all dualities. And yet this is the One who is always right here, this living pulse of our being. Who else could it be?
